So, a conversation today with a friend of mine led me to consider a problem that's been troubling me for probably most of my life.
What the hell am I supposed to DO?
Discussing future plans and ideas with friends tends to lead to the same conclusion: it's frightening, and kinda depressing at the same time. I mean, who wants to be stuck doing some normal job? Who wants to gain a qualification and then get work in this profession and earn a living being "professional"? Ok, the obvious answer is a large section of the community! But for me, and for many of my friends (Mostly the more creatively minded) it is a frightening burden. We tend to imagine our futures as being something that is a long way away, when we are children. No need to worry about that just now, it isn't coming any time soon.
In reality, it comes very soon! You start out as a child and everyone is condescending to you, telling you "You don't konw what you want, I have to make every decision for you", and the next thing you know, you're an adult, and everyone is asking you "Why haven't you made a decision yet?"
It is particularly hard, i believe, when we have dreams of something a little "out of the ordinary". For example, I have some vague dream of becoming a novelist, being famous, travelling the world, being payed in advance for my upcoming script.. but that's all it is really. A vague dream. I guess the idea would be, if this is what I wish to achieve, to write my text, and then find a way to sell it.
Sound difficult? It is! These days, publishers won't even read texts sent from authors, you need an agent.
But this is not the point... the point is: as a child, (which I still consider myself) it is frightening to think "I may have to become an adult with a job I hate." It's depressing.. and "mature" adults accuse you of being a dreamer for wanting something else.
And it seems little comfort to say "You don't have to be payed for what you love to do", because we all know, if we have to work another job to support ourselves, this dampens our abilities to put ourselves into our creativity.
What can be done? Career days for writers? Meetings with celebrities at schools? Classes on how to become "rich and famous"? It's a sad state of affairs... these high profile jobs carry such mystique, and offer so few positions to a growing youth... an even more daunting prospect than simply earning a living.
"you wake up to realize
your standard of living somehow got stuck on 'survive'..."
(thanks Jewel.)
So how do we just do what we want? Live on social security? Ignore bills? The idea in this modern society is MARKETING! Whatever it is you're selling, it seems it doesn't even MATTER if it's complete rubbish! (I mean... people buy Norton Internet Security...) The idea is simply to CONVINCE people that they want what you have to give them.
This is difficult... especially since, most of us are not about marketing ourselves, we are about expressing ourselves in a unique way that may in fact NOT appeal to the mass of society.
IT seems however this is what we all must learn, if we wish to be more than simply ordinary.
And remember, you can still create without it earning you your living. Perhaps you can find a career in the same field, with less glamour... Musicians can always become music teachers.... painters can become art equiptment suppliers... writers can become criminals....
*sigh*
Why couldn't I just have wanted to play tennis?
